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Monday, June 11, 2018

Poem: Stolen Diary

She went to the secret spot
Where her diary was hidden
And found that it wasn’t there
She checked everywhere else in the house
Even in places it couldn’t possibly be
But the diary was nowhere in sight

The diary’s disappearance
Could only mean that it was stolen
By someone who hungered for
The deepest secrets
The most inner thoughts and feelings
Buried deep within its pages
And yearned to expose them to the world

But who would do such a thing
Especially when no one knew of its existence
No one but the plush dog on her bed
That has been her confidante for many years
And the four walls that she’s trapped herself in
For a big part of her life

They say if you stop looking
That the missing object will resurface
But in this instance it doesn’t seem
Like the diary will ever be found
And all its secrets may no longer be
Under lock and key

Written June 11, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Poem: Feeling like a Third Wheel

There we are on our date
Your friend sitting next to you
The two of you engaged in a lively conversation
About the movie we had just seen
A movie filled with violence, sex, and drugs
One you don’t take a girl to
When you’re just getting to know each other

No words escape me then
And I’m beginning to think
That it’s the two of you who are on a date
And I am nothing but a third wheel
Someone that doesn’t belong
In the booth with you at the diner

I want to leave you right then
But you are my only way home
And so I sit there waiting
Until the two of you finish your date
And finally say it’s time to go home

Written May 17, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Poem: Stuck in the Express Lane

I am standing in the express lane
Hoping for a fast checkout
But instead I find myself
In a lane that crawls

Being stuck in the express lane
Every second that passes
Feels like an hour
And I stand their wondering
When it will finally be my turn

All the while I can’t help
But think about my life
And how it resembles this express lane
That’s moving at turtle speed

When will it finally pick up speed
When will I finally get to the checkout
And be on my way to my desired destination…

Written May 15, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Poem: Tears from an Old Book

Flipping through pages of an old book
My life is filled with tears never-ending
My future has a bitter outlook
No sugar coating, no more pretending

I am the only one who can rewrite the story
The only one to make a life that’s sweet
The only one who can achieve the glory
To make my life one that’s not incomplete

It’s up to me to wipe away the tears
Tears of the past that haunt me to this day
To rid myself of all the settling fears
That keep me dormant and won’t go away

Until I tell myself I’ve had enough
That I’ll take charge and fight to make a change
That I can do this and that I am tough
The life I hate will never rearrange

Because no one can help me here but me
To live the kind of life I want to live
To be the person that I wish to be
To change the sad existence that I grieve

Written May 8, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Poem: Feeling like an Outsider

I find myself in a crowd of people
Those I’ve met many times before
Those I see on a frequent basis
And yet I feel like an outsider
Like I don’t belong among them
Like I don’t belong in their world

I feel so alone
So small
So isolated
And I wish to escape
This crowd
These people

I wish to escape to a place
That will bring me peace
Bring me comfort
A place I won’t feel like I am an outsider
A place I won’t feel like I don’t belong

But there is nowhere for me to go
And so I remain where I am
And fight these burning tears
That wish to escape me
That I can’t let others see

Every minute feels like an hour
And there I am in my own cocoon
Wishing that these people
With their smiling faces
And their loud conversations
Would be a blur
Their voices hushed
Replaced by the silence
I’ve grown accustomed to

I don’t want to be here
Not like this
Not when I don’t fit in
At least in my mind
Not when I want to escape
And run away

They welcome me into their circle
So why do I feel like this?
Why do I feel like an outsider?
Why do I feel like I don’t belong?

Written March 25, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Poem: No Response

Whenever I try to contact you
You don’t pick up the phone
You don’t call me back
You don’t reply to my text messages
Or the emails I send you

No matter what I do
There is no response
No acknowledgement

I know you may be busy
But in my mind it seems like
You are simply ignoring me
And I can’t fathom why that is

What have I done
To deserve such treatment
You can’t just shut me out
Without an explanation
You can’t just go on with your life
As if I don’t exist or never did

I do not wish to be ignored any longer
So, if you don’t want me around anymore
Just tell me and I will let you be

Written February 26, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Poem: Letter from a Stranger

A letter came from you
And yet it might as well
Have been a letter from a stranger
Because I didn’t recognize you
In the words that filled the page
In the stories you shared
In the emotions you conveyed

Where is the you I know
The person who was always honest
And didn’t have to make up stories
To please others around him
Who didn’t have to pretend
To be someone he is not

What happened to you
That you have the need
To spin a web of lies
To impress others around you
To feel good about yourself

You are who you are
Embrace it
Own it
Celebrate it

Amazing
Charming
Immensely talented

You are beautiful
Inside and out

You are YOU!

Written January 26, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.