Poem: Feeling like an Outsider

I find myself in a crowd of people
Those I’ve met many times before
Those I see on a frequent basis
And yet I feel like an outsider
Like I don’t belong among them
Like I don’t belong in their world

I feel so alone
So small
So isolated
And I wish to escape
This crowd
These people

I wish to escape to a place
That will bring me peace
Bring me comfort
A place I won’t feel like I am an outsider
A place I won’t feel like I don’t belong

But there is nowhere for me to go
And so I remain where I am
And fight these burning tears
That wish to escape me
That I can’t let others see

Every minute feels like an hour
And there I am in my own cocoon
Wishing that these people
With their smiling faces
And their loud conversations
Would be a blur
Their voices hushed
Replaced by the silence
I’ve grown accustomed to

I don’t want to be here
Not like this
Not when I don’t fit in
At least in my mind
Not when I want to escape
And run away

They welcome me into their circle
So why do I feel like this?
Why do I feel like an outsider?
Why do I feel like I don’t belong?

Written March 25, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.