Poem: Your Letters From the Sea

An ink stained paper
With words lost in time
Flew onto the window
Of my darkening life.

The words were your story
Of your journey through time,
Of your days on that vessel
Slipping by from my life.

A skiff on a giant,
You waved your good-bye,
Got lost in the ocean,
Hid away from my eye.

And the memory of you
In the waters of ink
Are the stains I swim through,
To feel you, to think. 

Written August 27, 2009

© 2009 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Out of the Blue

Out of the blue
You called me one day
Said if you don't get what you want
You will be on your way

Over a decade
Spent together with love
An ultimatum I didn't see coming
Harsh words for the dove

Made me believe
That you're mine for life
Waited so long to tell me
It's the end for your wife

Yet still you are here
Though things aren't the same
Days spent living with a stranger
My heart filled with shame

When did your love for me
Suddenly start being fake
And how long must I wait for
The day you make your mistake

Edited March 26, 2026

Original version:

You called me up one day and said
If you don’t get what you want
You’ll be on your way
It’s been a decade and only now
An ultimatum out of the blue
Why did you wait so long to act
Made me believe you’ll never leave
And then tell me this
Yet still you are here
How long will it be till you leave for good
So much for I love you very much
Did you ever really love me at all

Written September 21, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: How Long Will This Last?

You’re living your life

Without me in it

And yet we’re tied

By that piece of paper

Don’t know if you’re alone

Or if someone else is there

And it kills me, not knowing

My future, my fate

How long will this last?

This cruel separation

There’s only so long

I can go on this way

You need to make a choice

Am I in or am I out?

And if I am out

Then sign on the line

But if per chance

You do want me in it

Then please resume contact

And return back to me

I want you here with me

Now and forever

Just as I did back then

When we bonded for life

Written October 5, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: All I Have

All I have are memories 

Constant what ifs and could’ve beens

If only you had chosen me

Instead of the insanity 

You wouldn't be here haunting me

Leaving me scarred for eternity 

Written February 14, 2026

© 2026 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: You Left

You left me alone 

To fend for myself 

You left me alone 

I’m left without help 

You left me in debt

A debt I must pay

But how will I pay it

So it goes away  

Do you even care 

What happens to me 

Or is it more important 

You set yourself free

No warning about 

The ending to come 

I’m left in the dark 

Here hoping for some

For some sort of sign 

About your plans

About the future 

I held in my hands 

Thought you were forever 

But you chose to end 

The great thing you started

When you held my hand

Now I’m left to wonder 

About what went wrong

That made you want space 

For who knows how long 

There isn’t a phone call 

No email or text

No how are you doing 

What’s happening next 

We’re still tied together 

And yet you are gone 

You’re living your life

While I can’t go on 

How long will it be 

Till I know how it ends 

So I can start living

Not playing pretend

Written October 30, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: I Still Think About You

No matter what I do 
I still think about you 
You are always on my mind  
Morning, day, and night 
And one thing is clear 
It’s hard without you here

Written September 8, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: I Wish You Were Here

You’re the last thing on my mind
As I drift to the land of dreams
And the first thing every morning
When I open my eyes it seems

Like you have woken up early
But the silence it fills the room
And the side of your bed is empty
Though I still make the bed for two

How I yearn to hold your hand
How I yearn to cuddle with you
As we fall asleep together
That’s the thing I look forward to

But you are no longer here
Only memories that float in my head
For now I’ll take that over nothing
Though I wish you were here in our bed

Written September 25, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: No Action

I never envisioned this ending

I never envisioned this strife

Guess I was a fool in pretending

That you and I bonded for life

But we never worked on our problems

We let the days go as they went

And whenever we had our long talks

It just gave us a reason to vent

There wasn't a change in the making

There wasn't a move to evolve

No steps that we both were taking

To help our issues resolve

If we never acted on anything

If we both shut down inside

Then of course our dreams lay dormant

We were stuck on the same old ride

If only we both took action

Or at least if one of us tried

Then maybe we'd still be together

And my heart wouldn't drown when I cried

Written September 4, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Torn and Broken

You tell me you’re leaving

But you are still here

Don’t know what you’re doing 

Can you make it clear

You’re playing with my heart

And you’re scarring me deep

I’m torn and I’m broken

It’s hard not to weep

Yet you seem unbothered 

Keep living your life

As if nothing’s wrong

As if I’m not your wife 

Written August 11, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: One Day Without You

I’m lying here in the silence

Staring at the stains on the wall

The right side of the bed is empty

I’m waiting here for your return

It’s only one day here without you 

And yet it feels likes weeks have passed

What will I do till you resurface 

How will I fill my empty day

I wish the sun was peeking through 

But all I see are skies of gray

The rain is drumming against the windows 

Masking the tears on my face

The wafting breeze is fairly warm

And yet I feel a chill pass through me

Because it seems you’re really gone 

And I’m left here without you now

But are you gone

Or are you still here

Won't know for sure 

Till tomorrow appears

Written June 10, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Bittersweet Surprise

The last time I saw you
Was when I tied the knot
The last thing I expected
Was to be by your plot

And yet there you were

Your face behind black

Your hollow eyes locked

Into mine for a sec

I stood there frozen

Lyrics engraved on your stone
The notes beneath them
Your voice mine alone

I hummed to myself

These words to be true
It was a wonderful world

On the day I met you

You're forever the music

That sings from your soul
Always here you'll be
Even though you are gone

The mark that you left

On the day of my bliss

Is something I treasure

Is something I miss

A bittersweet surprise

To see you once more

Surrounded by many

Yet not on the dance floor

Your face a reminder

That the end is unknown

So we must live each day

Like there is no tomorrow

Perhaps I will dance

Through life once again

The way that I did

When I danced with my man

Written June 1 - June 2, 2025

© 2025 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only. 

Poem: My Eyes Deceive Me

I look toward the bar
And see you standing there
With short gray hair and glasses
Shocked at the sight of you 

I quickly look away
Thinking I've imagined you
But when I turn back around
You are still there
Not moving an inch 

How can this be
You are supposed to be down below
With your beloved parents
And yet here you are
Gracing me with your presence

I have the sudden urge to approach you
To say hello
To give you a hug I've been yearning for
But then you turn your face toward me
And that's when I realize that it isn't you
But a stranger that resembled you in the distance

Oh how my eyes deceive me
Into thinking you are still here
When you are nowhere to be found

Perhaps this is a sign
But I wonder what it means
To think you are standing there
When it's not really you

Written November 15, 2022

© 2022 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Memories Reborn

Memories that fade with time
Can be reborn 
Just like the seasons
Each season sparking visuals
Of what once was

Bit by bit the details spring forth

Revealing the passing of time

Forming a complete painting

Of all that unfolded long ago

Drops of rain against the windowpane

Snowflakes falling from the sky

The rustling of the leaves

Their crunch under your feet

The booming thunder overhead

All these things and more

Can bring back memories

That seemed to have faded 

All you need to do 

Is be one with nature

And you will find the past

Coming alive before your very eyes

Written November 7, 2022

© 2022 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Picture in the Frame

I see your picture in the frame

And as I near you

There you are 

Staring at me 

Gazing right through me 

Right into my soul

You have left us behind

And yet you are still here

Watching my every move

Listening to every thought

That escapes me 

Or remains hidden within

Perhaps that is just 

A figment of my imagination

But there is an eerie feeling 

In the room as I near you

To say hello

To utter a few words

And I feel as if you are judging me

As if you are disappointed with who I am

Or the way I live my life

Or that I am not moving forward

And I find myself weeping

My face streaked with tears

Wondering about your last thoughts of me

Before you went away

Wondering about your last words to me

In that hospital room

Words that you screamed out

But were muted

By a tube in your throat

As you looked at me with fear in your eyes

Written October 17, 2022

© 2022 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: I Remain a Mute

You silence my words
They remain inside
Can't say how I feel
Can't voice what I hide

They need to escape
But buried they are
And what's on mind
Can't get very far

I fear your reaction
And what you will say
That you'll shut me out
Or ruin my day

Protecting myself
From the heart and the pain
I remain a mute
With nothing to gain

So when will I say
That enough is enough
Your reactions won't hurt me
Because I am tough

And let them escape

These words of my heart

These thoughts that are yearning

To not fall apart

Perhaps I can do it 

Perhaps I can soar

Once this crippling fear

Is here no more

But how can this fear

Be gone from within

When it's always there

Not letting me win

Guess I should accept it

Embrace my own fear

And that's when these words

Won't be silenced my dear

Written February 9, 2022

© 2022 Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Stuck

Stuck
Unable to move
Can't escape
No way out

Pull me
Out of this hole
Out of this hell

Push me
Help me take that first step
Make that first move

Lift me up

Help me accept my fears

And embrace them

Be my lifeline

When I can't be my own

When I'm stuck

In my own cocoon

Written January 31, 2022

© 2022 Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: White Daisies

Your white daisies in the vase
Are slowly shedding their petals

One by one they fall
One for every piece of you
That is slowly fading
As your days are coming to an end

Soon all that will be left are the stems
And the individual memories of you
That will forever bloom in my heart

Whenever I think of you
I will always envision a beautiful field
Filled with endless rows of white daisies
That stand tall beneath the warmth of the sun

And I will be surrounded by the love

By the comfort of your presence

That will always linger

Until the day that we meet again

Written November 27, 2021

© 2021 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Time to Say Good-Bye

It's time to say good-bye
To the last one left standing

To the one now in eternal slumber
To a generation that has lived through it all

Gone but never forgotten
Whose legacy will live on

In the generations of the present

And the future ones to come

Written November 20, 2021

© 2021 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Remembering Our Time in the Woods

The flames of the fire pit
Soar higher and higher
As the winds increase
I am standing frozen in place
Lost in the orange glow
Remembering our time in the woods
When it was a bit of a chilly day
And I yearned for some warmth
Having you there, embracing me,
And offering me your jacket
Gave me all the warmth I needed
To make it through the winding trail
To the comfort of your cozy car
And into your loving arms

Written September 6, 2021

© 2021 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Nameless

Buried underground you are nameless
No way of knowing where you are from a distance
Only standing beside you
Can I see exactly where you are
But how do I know the exact spot of your existence
When yours is like many others surrounding you
When will you finally get the headstone you deserve
So I can visit you without searching for you
Among a colony of those that have taken up residence down below
And panicking when you are nowhere to be found

Written August 30, 2021  

© 2021 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.