Poem: Bit by Bit Torn Apart

You said you had a girlfriend.
How did you think I'd feel?
Did you think I would like it?
Did you think I would heal?

I was already shattered,
But the news cracked me more.
And to fly over there,
Now I wasn't so sure.

Didn't think I could stand it
Knowing you are with her;
But I just had to see you,
Had to walk through your door.

So I filled up with courage,
And flew there to see you;
And I went on that tour,
To be closer to you.

But it ended so fast,
Faster than I expected.
And you went on your way,
While I was affected.

I knew you were near,
Yet you seemed far away.
Never once did you call me,
Or write me those days.

It's like I was no longer
That important to you.
It's like you didn't care
About being friends too.

You did not say good-bye,
When you knew I was leaving.
And so I flew back home,
Deep inside of me grieving.

And I wonder why you
Promised we can be friends,
When all that you did,
Was ignore me in the end.

Why you pushed me aside.
Left me there to burn.
Left me crumbling in pieces.
Left my heart being torn.

Why you couldn't just tell me,
To just go on my way,
And forget about friendship,
And forget those days.

Did you think it was best,
To just not say a word?
That it wouldn't hurt me;
Now that is absurd.

You knew how I felt
For you right from the start,
So you should have known
What was there in my heart.

And you knew very well
I'm an emotional soul,
And the things that are said
Can take their toll.

Yet you just lived your life,
Told me nothing at all,
And you didn't protect me,
Only made me feel small.

I felt I didn't matter,
Not to you or to others,
And I felt there's no reason,
There's no reason to bother.

To hook up with a guy,
Something special to start.
Because then in the end
I'd be left with a heart,

That is torn, that is damaged,
That can only feel pain.
So no reason to suffer
When there's nothing to gain.

So I placed myself there
In the shell all alone,
And I chose to live life
Without guys on my throne. 

It was better that way
And I felt it would be,
Just the kind of life
That was meant for me.

Written 2014

© 2014 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.