Poem: Castaway

When I sit home alone

Sometimes I feel like a castaway

The only person to talk to

Me, myself and I

And so I do just that

For sitting all alone in total silence

Can be worse than being in a crowd

But feeling like you are

The only person in the room

Written July 25, 2016

© 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Often Times I Wish...

Often times I wish I were a different person
The kind of person who not only wants change
But one that believes in herself, never doubting her actions
Takes the ever-present fear and pushes it aside
And exudes confidence, drive and a fighting spirit
To actually make the desired changes happen

I do not wish to be the kind of person
Who wants her current life to be different
But instead of taking chances
And doing everything in her power
To make change happen and turn her life around
Just sits there in her room crying her heart out
Unsatisfied with the way things are turning out
And feeling like nothing will ever change for the better
And life will continue to be the same as it is now

But it is hard to accomplish as fear reigns over me
And I lack the confidence, drive and fighting spirit
That once somehow roamed within me
Causing me to believe that I don’t have what it takes
To create the life that I want to live
A life where the constant tears, whether visible or not
Are replaced by tears of joy, laughter and eternal peace
A life where all my accomplishments are at their peak
And I and everyone around me is proud
Of all I have achieved and the person I have become

Written July 13, 2016

© 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: I Stand There Wondering

I stand there surrounded by darkness

And wonder if I’m making a mistake

But it’s not like I have a choice

There’s nowhere else for me to go

So I must remain where I am

And hope that things will get better

Yet hoping is simply not enough

I have stand strong and confident

I have to take action and fight

To make things better in my life

So I don’t have to stand there

Surrounded by darkness

With tears streaming down my face

Wondering if I’m making a mistake

Written June 13, 2016

© 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Thoughts of the Future

As the bus speeds down the highway

Its destination yet unknown

The soon-to-be wedding of my dreams

That I’ve always fantasized about

But never thought would be real

Starts playing out in my mind

And I wonder if this is a sign

That my once uncertain future

Will be the beginning of a better life

Where my unrealized dreams

Will morph into actual achievements

And I finally become the star

That I am destined to be

Written April 25, 2016

© Copyright 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: I Don't Belong at This Party

I find myself surrounded by a crowd of familiar faces

But I might as well be surrounded by strangers

As these people engage in never-ending conversation

About the things I have no connection to

And so I find myself a stranger in the room

Finding it hard fitting in with these people

Feeling as empty and alone as I’ve ever felt

All the while trying to hide my feelings

I know I don’t belong at this party

And want nothing more than to escape it

But I must stay there until the end

And so I flee to the bathroom

Lock myself in the stall and let the tears fall

Written April 20, 2016

© 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Lost and Found

When it came to real love

I found myself lost in a world of fairy tales

In a world of make believe feelings

That I thought were not pretend

But now I find myself in a world

Where real love is indeed real

And the feelings are not masked

By a desperate plea to be loved

A love that seemed forever lost

Has been found at last

Yes, it is filled with ups and downs

But it is unconditional, genuine

And will stand the test of time

Written April 9, 2016

© Copyright 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: I Am a Warrior

I am a warrior, battling with my lack of confidence,

Battling with the fear that has taken over me

Trying to conquer it and win

So that I can rise above and soar into the sky

The way I am meant to soar

The way I am meant to prosper

But it is no easy feat as I struggle to let go

Of all that I’ve come to accept as being real

That in reality may actually be a lie

Written April 9, 2016

© Copyright 2016 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Shadow

I am but a shadow
Invisible to the passing eye
Of those who know me
Those who lay eyes on me
But to a wandering stranger
I am an actual being
Roaming this universe
I am a living, breathing creature
In need of attention
In need of comfort
In need of support
In need of everything
That my people never give

Written July 3, 2007

This poem is featured in my book Pieces of Me

© Copyright 2007 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.