Why Was I Always the Last in Line?

I remember when I was younger
I was always the last in line
To be picked for a team

I didn’t know why that was
And it baffles me to this day

Did my facial expression scream
Stay away!
Don’t touch me!
Leave me alone!

Did I give off a vibe of a loser
That with me on the team
They will never win

Always being the last one chosen
Made me feel unwanted
And that I was on a team
Because they had no choice
They had to pick me
They couldn’t say no

When I finally made it
When I was no longer sitting on the floor
Waiting to be picked
I should have been happy
Yet I felt like a loser
And wished I was still on that cold floor
Waiting and waiting…

Because I was unwanted
No matter what hidden talents I possessed
Or how great of a player
I might have been

I was a girl
And they didn’t wish to see
Past their preconceived image
That a girl couldn’t play ball

And so that’s how it happened
That’s how they saw me
Each and every time
I was on their team

They played their game
As if they had never picked me
As if I didn’t exist

So I never really got to play
Never got to enjoy the game that I love
Which shattered my heart

But what really scarred me
Was being invisible
In a group of people
That should have embraced me

Or at least given me a chance

Written March 25, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only

Poem: Facing Rejection

Facing rejection is never easy
Especially when the negative words
Can sting and scar
But think of rejection as a positive thing
A motivator for you to try harder
To improve your greatness
In your talent and passion

Facing rejection is never easy
But that is what leads you
To become a better person
And the best you can be
In whatever you set out to do

Written September 30, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Relationship Trouble

She comes home after a stressful day at work

Ready to strike with words that hammer

At the heart and soul of her fragile partner

Pointing out the faults, the misgivings

The tasks left undone

Sitting there dormant for weeks

No hello, how are you?
Or how was your day?

Only negative energy

Belittling lectures

And everything that screams out

You're a loser! Get out of my sight!

And then she questions
Why he's cold toward her

No affection, no love, no tenderness

Why he's more like a stranger than a spouse

Why he wants to do nothing

But sit there on the couch

And stare at the TV screen

In between food and bathroom breaks

And frequent meetings with a pack of cigarettes 

That damage his already deteriorating health

These little killers
Bring him some sort of comfort and satisfaction

Something he never gets 

Whenever the two of them are together

And the words fly out of her mouth 

Like speeding bullets

That never seem to stop their flight

She thinks he is the problem

That he is the enemy

But it is she who is at fault

And it is she who is to blame

For all the trouble the relationship experiences 

Day after day

Written December 3, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo Use with permission only.

Poem: Silhouettes in the Night

We stand side by side
Silhouettes in the night
In the distance we see
Our shadows roam free

Destination unknown
Our love fully grown
As we soar through the night
Our dreams take their flight

Through each journey we take
Our love keeps us safe
And erases the fears
That surround us in spheres

And the stories we write
With our love burning bright
Will forever take flight
Silhouettes in the night

Written June 18, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Winning Isn't Everything

Winning isn’t everything
But trying your best is
Because if you don’t take that chance
If you don’t give it all you have
You don’t even have a shot at winning
And all you are setting yourself up for
Is failure and loss
So go out there with everything you have
And know that even if you don’t win
You are already a winner
Because you took that chance
Instead of sitting there doing nothing
To accomplish what you wanted to achieve

Written September 30, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Three Limericks That Mention Animals

“Sam Wanted to Rescue a Cat from a Tree”

October 23, 2018

A black cat was stuck in a tree
Sam wanted to help set him free
He climbed for the cat
But then saw it’s a bat
So he jumped and flew like a bee

~~~~~~~~~~

“Colony of Ants”
August 30, 2018

She woke to a colony of ants
That was crawling right into her pants
She screamed and she ran
Bumped into the fan
That blew them away toward the plants

~~~~~~~~~~

“A Bee Sat on a Flower”
August 29, 2018

A bee sat down on a flower
She sat still for many an hour
They thought she was dead
But she went on ahead
Tanning beneath the sun shower

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Visiting Your Gravesite

I went to the cemetery to pay you a visit
But when I got to your gravesite
Tears flooded my face once more
It’s been almost two years since your passing
And yet there is no monument erected in your honor
No loving words etched in memory of you
All that exists is the ugly name tag
Stuck into a pile of dirt

When will that change
When will I finally see the headstone
That reminds us of your presence
That brings to life
The everlasting memories you left us
When you went on your way

The scars never truly fade
And find themselves reawakening
From time to time
Like at the moment I visit you
Only to find that your gravesite is naked
And the picture of you
Along with the loving words
Is only in my mind
And not for the world to see

Written January 5, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Love Is Priceless

You can’t put a price on love
Nor can you buy it
So don’t let anyone
Shower you with material things
To get you to love them
Especially if they are the kind of people
That don’t deserve your love

Written September 30, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Tomorrow Is Not Promised

Tomorrow is not promised
So live every day like it is your last

Make sure to squeeze every ounce
Of happiness and pleasure
Excitement and positive energy
From the day that falls upon you

Make sure that all your dreams
And everything that you envision
Materializes into reality

Because you never know
Which day will turn into your last

Written September 30, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Another Run in with a Clown

I had another run in with a clown
That clown looked exactly like me
Except he had it all figured out
And here I am without a clue
Of who I am meant to be
What I am meant to be doing
And how I can force myself
To make things happen
So when I have another run in with a clown
I won’t think of myself as one

Written May 28, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: A Different Outlook on Life

A different outlook on life
Is what I need to see the light

No more pretending
No more pain
There’s so much here
For me to gain

So much to do
And so much time
To make things right
To make me shine

I can’t surrender
I must fight
To finally win
And set things right

Written July 31, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

New Poem: Timeless Love

She stands there searching for something new
Inside his blue eyes like lovers do
Lost days forgotten, new ones ahead
For her no longer is true love dead
She’s found her soul mate, her best friend
She’ll be his partner until the end

No matter what she won’t let him fall
Won’t put him down, make him feel small
She’ll be his anchor, she’ll be his rock
She’ll be his vessel, she’ll be his dock
Supporting him through all ups and downs
And never letting her loved one drown

She hopes that he’ll do just the same
Be there for her through every game
That’s thrown her way by life unknown
Saving her from being overthrown
By her emotions and her fears
That hold her back and bring the tears

A bond like theirs can’t be broken
A timeless love now has awoken
It’s meant to be, it’s meant to flame
It’s meant to grow and have no shame
Forever written in the stars above
She’s always dreamed of this kind of love

Written July 17, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Limericks: "Jeena Baked a Pie" and "A Guy Named Dan"

“Jeena Baked a Pie”
August 26, 2018

Jeena wanted to bake a pie
This dessert was her very first try
And when it came out
She gave out a shout
It looked like a bug with one eye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A Guy Named Dan”
August 27, 2018

A guy from the city named Dan
He was clever and he had a plan
He wanted the money
So he left his honey
And he became rich once again

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: A Vampire's Game

In a fantasy dream
In the darkness that surrounds
There’s an alley abandoned
And a vampire that roams

He drinks blood from his victims
From brokenhearted women
He thinks that he’s saving them
From the pain of sour love

But he’s hurting them more
Because a love that is sour
Can become sweet at last
When a heart is open once more
To the possibility of a new beginning
And letting love in without restraint
Even if there is bitterness along the way

This poem was written July 17, 2018 from a word list prompt: darkness, fantasy, alley, vampire, blood.

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Two New Limericks

“Grandpa and His Eggs”

July 31, 2018

A grandpa was carrying eggs
They fell down and cracked on his legs
Being covered in yolk
He turned into a bloke
For fried eggs and ham he now begs

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“A Lady Named Barb” 

August 13, 2018

A lady named Barb was a singer
When she sang her notes did linger
But the hiccups came out
And the notes gave out
She sounded like the telephone ringer

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Stolen Diary

She went to the secret spot
Where her diary was hidden
And found that it wasn’t there
She checked everywhere else in the house
Even in places it couldn’t possibly be
But the diary was nowhere in sight

The diary’s disappearance
Could only mean that it was stolen
By someone who hungered for
The deepest secrets
The most inner thoughts and feelings
Buried deep within its pages
And yearned to expose them to the world

But who would do such a thing
Especially when no one knew of its existence
No one but the plush dog on her bed
That has been her confidante for many years
And the four walls that she’s trapped herself in
For a big part of her life

They say if you stop looking
That the missing object will resurface
But in this instance it doesn’t seem
Like the diary will ever be found
And all its secrets may no longer be
Under lock and key

Written June 11, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Feeling like a Third Wheel

There we are on our date
Your friend sitting next to you
The two of you engaged in a lively conversation
About the movie we had just seen
A movie filled with violence, sex, and drugs
One you don’t take a girl to
When you’re just getting to know each other

No words escape me then
And I’m beginning to think
That it’s the two of you who are on a date
And I am nothing but a third wheel
Someone that doesn’t belong
In the booth with you at the diner

I want to leave you right then
But you are my only way home
And so I sit there waiting
Until the two of you finish your date
And finally say it’s time to go home

Written May 17, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Stuck in the Express Lane

I am standing in the express lane
Hoping for a fast checkout
But instead I find myself
In a lane that crawls

Being stuck in the express lane
Every second that passes
Feels like an hour
And I stand their wondering
When it will finally be my turn

All the while I can’t help
But think about my life
And how it resembles this express lane
That’s moving at turtle speed

When will it finally pick up speed
When will I finally get to the checkout
And be on my way to my desired destination…

Written May 15, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Tears from an Old Book

Flipping through pages of an old book
My life is filled with tears never-ending
My future has a bitter outlook
No sugar coating, no more pretending

I am the only one who can rewrite the story
The only one to make a life that’s sweet
The only one who can achieve the glory
To make my life one that’s not incomplete

It’s up to me to wipe away the tears
Tears of the past that haunt me to this day
To rid myself of all the settling fears
That keep me dormant and won’t go away

Until I tell myself I’ve had enough
That I’ll take charge and fight to make a change
That I can do this and that I am tough
The life I hate will never rearrange

Because no one can help me here but me
To live the kind of life I want to live
To be the person that I wish to be
To change the sad existence that I grieve

Written May 8, 2018 

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Feeling like an Outsider

I find myself in a crowd of people
Those I’ve met many times before
Those I see on a frequent basis
And yet I feel like an outsider
Like I don’t belong among them
Like I don’t belong in their world

I feel so alone
So small
So isolated
And I wish to escape
This crowd
These people

I wish to escape to a place
That will bring me peace
Bring me comfort
A place I won’t feel like I am an outsider
A place I won’t feel like I don’t belong

But there is nowhere for me to go
And so I remain where I am
And fight these burning tears
That wish to escape me
That I can’t let others see

Every minute feels like an hour
And there I am in my own cocoon
Wishing that these people
With their smiling faces
And their loud conversations
Would be a blur
Their voices hushed
Replaced by the silence
I’ve grown accustomed to

I don’t want to be here
Not like this
Not when I don’t fit in
At least in my mind
Not when I want to escape
And run away

They welcome me into their circle
So why do I feel like this?
Why do I feel like an outsider?
Why do I feel like I don’t belong?

Written March 25, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: No Response

Whenever I try to contact you
You don’t pick up the phone
You don’t call me back
You don’t reply to my text messages
Or the emails I send you

No matter what I do
There is no response
No acknowledgement

I know you may be busy
But in my mind it seems like
You are simply ignoring me
And I can’t fathom why that is

What have I done
To deserve such treatment
You can’t just shut me out
Without an explanation
You can’t just go on with your life
As if I don’t exist or never did

I do not wish to be ignored any longer
So, if you don’t want me around anymore
Just tell me and I will let you be

Written February 26, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Letter from a Stranger

A letter came from you
And yet it might as well
Have been a letter from a stranger
Because I didn’t recognize you
In the words that filled the page
In the stories you shared
In the emotions you conveyed

Where is the you I know
The person who was always honest
And didn’t have to make up stories
To please others around him
Who didn’t have to pretend
To be someone he is not

What happened to you
That you have the need
To spin a web of lies
To impress others around you
To feel good about yourself

You are who you are
Embrace it
Own it
Celebrate it

Amazing
Charming
Immensely talented

You are beautiful
Inside and out

You are YOU!

Written January 26, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.

Poem: Reasons for Letting You Go

There are many reasons for letting you go
Here are some that I want you to know
One is the freedom to be who I am
And living a life without being a sham
Second is the lies that I hate to be told
And promises never kept, now getting old
Third is pretending to love and to care
But when needed most, never being there
I could go on and on but that won’t make you change
So I’m saving my breath going out of range
I will never forget you but I must move ahead
So there is no more us, you and me we are dead

Written January 23, 2018

© 2018 by Lena Kovadlo. Use with permission only.